Identity theft is a serious crime that often results in substantial financial loss for victims, but when the perpetrator is a family member, the deep emotional and psychological distress can exacerbate the devastation.
Let’s say, for example, that your father secretly opened a credit card in your name and racked up more than $5,000 in charges over the last year. After confronting your dad about the issue, he blew it all off as if it’s no big deal. But aside from losing trust in your father, his actions have also left you with significant debt that you now have to pay off, as well as damage to your credit report.
In need of assistance, you decide to lean on your loving uncle for help with paying off the charges. And even though you’re the one who should be upset, your father ends up screaming at you when he learns that you went to his brother for help.
You may love your dad, but there’s no denying that he’s made you a victim of identity theft while failing to understand the severity of his actions. In this situation, you are not in the wrong — he is, and how you decide to respond to the crime he’s committed is entirely up to you.
While becoming a victim of familial fraud is troubling, the unfortunate truth is that you are not alone.
According to a 2021 study from Javelin Strategy and Research, one in 50 U.S. children are victimized by identity theft every year (1), while more than 70% of those victims are targeted by a person they know (2).
If a parent seeks access to funds that they otherwise couldn’t, their kids are often good targets for familial fraud, as most parents have access to their child’s personal information like their Social Security number and date of birth.
This puts victimized children in a difficult position as it often forces them to choose between protecting their credit and finances, or protecting the parent who stole their identity to commit a crime.
A study from The Office for Victims of Crime reveals that family identity theft, or intergenerational identity theft, can be particularly damaging for victims because they end up being victimized twice: once by a family member stealing their identity, and then again by the system, which won’t help unless the victim files a police report. And reporting a member of your family to the police is not an easy decision to make.
Identity theft victims typically aren’t responsible for paying for fraudulent charges, and they can often get negative information that came from the crime removed from their credit report. However, the victim would have to report the identity theft and fraud to the police in order for these things to happen, and that could create a lot of problems if a family member is the culprit.
In your situation, let’s say you chose not to report your father to the police after getting your uncle to help pay for the fraudulent charges. In this case, the big consequence that you’re now left to deal with is the damage to your credit score.
Since you were unaware that your dad was racking up debt in your name for an entire year, your credit report has likely taken a hit. Unfortunately, late payments on credit cards will remain on your credit report for up to seven years (4).
You can always call the creditor to explain what happened and see if it will remove the negative information from your report, but without a police report on hand, there’s no guarantee of that happening.
In light of all of this, you would be well within your rights to explain to your father that not only has he stolen your identity and broken the law, he’s also made it tougher for you to borrow money in the future. And while you’re at it, you might remind him that he now owes you and your uncle $5,000, plus whatever interest the charges may have accrued.
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Since you’ve already become a victim of identity theft, you’ll likely want to take steps to ensure that such a thing never happens again.
First and foremost, start by collecting any personal documents that your father may have used to take out a credit card in your name, such as your birth certificate and Social Security card. These documents need to be in your possession now that your father has proven he can’t be trusted.
You should also check on your credit report to make sure your dad — and potentially others — haven’t done any more unauthorized borrowing in your name. It’s a good idea to check in on your credit report regularly, even if you haven’t just become the victim of identity theft and fraud. That way you can spot signs of potential identity theft right away and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation.
Putting a freeze on your credit is also a good option to ensure that no more fraudulent activities occur. To do so, check in with each of the major credit reporting agencies — Experian, Equifax and TransUnion — to request a security freeze on your credit. This essentially blocks access to your credit, which prevents you or anyone else from opening new credit accounts in your name.
However, you must request a freeze with all three agencies in order to completely secure your credit from fraud. You can also unfreeze your account at any time, free of charge.
Taking these steps can help with keeping your identity safe in the future, but in your situation, it’s also worth having a conversation with your dad about what he’s done. If he’s simply unwilling to acknowledge the severity of his actions, consider letting him know that any repeat behavior will lead to a call to the police.
We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.
Javelin Strategy and Research (1, 2); The Office for Victims of Crime (3); Equifax (4)
This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.